Leather & Lace #25 Aircel, Aug 1991, b&w, Adult
s Leather & Lace #25 cover One hot December day (the Greenhouse Effect is everywhereóóeven in comics!): Homer tells Ramon (sic!), "Neji doesn't like the boys much, does he, Ramon." They are sitting outside on what looks like a roof, drinking. Neji is trying to get the cake away from the boys who tell him Ramon said they could have all they wanted. The boys' mouths are full of cake spots. Ramon tells Homer that Neji's nose is a little out of joint since with all his kung fu skills, he is burned up by a squirrel and two little nuts. Neji threatens to spank the boys. Angel tells him he can't, only Homer can, Neji is not their guardian, "Only Homer can spank us!" Homer and the boys will be moving to Chinatown. Ramon congratulates Homer on becoming the boys' official guardian. Homer tells him they really are decent little skizzers, "It still surprises me how they could love some irascible old fart like me." Ramon tells him they do and it is obvious, "In a way I understand how you feel. I was quite the nerd when I first met Neji." Homer is glad for them that they are now sailing around the world, funded by a grant. They will be helping the world's scientists with the Greenhouse Problem. Neji chases the boys who hold up the cake over their joined hands. They run in and close a door. Neji tells Homy he is going to kill them someday. Neji gets a few scraps on the platter and looks at it mad. The boys have big bellies and want to see if Ramon has ice cream (Angel suggests it). Neji already knows the boys' version of the Man Fred caper. Homer tells him it is not what he thinks. Angel tells Homster he will tell Neji about what happened. Xiao does also, "It really started with Bif and Billy..." In front of missing children posters, Billy tells Bif Chris is missing while Bif tells Billy the same about Pam. Bif asks, "Could there be a plot underfoot?" Masked and in Ninja gear now (he wasn't in last issue), Neji psssts to them. He tells them about the kidnapped women. When Neji tells them, from the roofs, that they can only track the man if they are female, Billy says, "Bif...I don't like the look on your face!" Bif punches one hand into the other. Bif tells him, "Trust me, Bill." Billy looks up at Bif as the big man puts his hands on his shoulders, "Bif...I'm not going to like this, am I?" Homer and Angel figure they have been lost for 24 hours. The boys's caps are gone. Xiao has a squirrel named Koogie who can show them the way home. Homer says something about Koogie being smart enough to bring the guardianship papers (HUH? WHAA?). Koogie found them. They hear music and women and find the missing women, the girls naked except of capes. Man Fred, the Elvis like man is their king. Pam wonders about Bif and Billy. Chris says they still love them but "do you want to pass up a chance at..." Man Fred calls them his fire fly and snow drop. They do him, Chris yelling to let his royal juices flow. An hour later: Pam can't come and neither can Chris. Pam figures Billy and Bif are the real men. Pam feels ashamed and so does Chris. The two are in women's outfit, both having at least one band aid on their legs from shaving them. They have on wigs. Neji finds them and wonders about their ridiculous costumes. Billy tells him, "You should talk, my little Ninja garbed friend." Billy tells him it was Bif's half brainedidea. Neji clasps his hands together, "Ooh, Willmina, you're lovely when you're angry!" Neji tells Bif that the kidnapper is crazy, not blind. Bif tells him they will get the girls back. Neji makes faces, "Shake that thing, Bifarina!" The boys dressed as girls see a boy chasing a dog (or is it a girl?). They fall into a trap door. Neji jumps as Homer and the boys come out of a sewer cover, "Yips!" He stands with his back arched. Homy wouldn't let the boys look at the "cannibals" since they were having sex...the cannibals...uh, the girls and the king. Angel pulls Homer, calling him daddy. He isn't...he is their guardian. Xiao pulls, "Okay, Guardy, let's go home." Neji asks, "Guardian, why on Earth would you want to be their...no, don't answer that now. What about the white slavers?" Homer tells Neji about the entrance a few blocks away. Pam and Chris are faking it. Velvet Black appears, her hair long to her butt, "What are you two bitches doing here?!?" Pam tells her they should have known. Pam calls Man Fred Man Dead. Chris says, "I've had better sex with a sardine." Velvet holds her nose, "That explains the smell." Pam fights her. Velvet calls her girl slaves to help her. Neji has brought the police. Five cops appear and say odd things like, "Assume the position." Man Fred thinks the girls are not real women, nymphos, machines. Escaping, Man Fred leans against a wall, naked, "It had to be Larry Manolowest! He's always been jealous of my great talents." Behind bars, Billy and Bif call to him, dressed as women. Under their skirts, Billy and Bif are band aided up as they cut themselves shaving!!! They are able to get Man Fred up and coming. Neji finds Chris and Pam. Velvet says, "I'll get you back, you dumb cows!" Billy and Bif are learning great lines from Man Fred. As the girls find Billy, Billy gets a large erection and sticks out at Man Fred's face. Bif is bigger than Man Fred. Man Fred was attracted to them and feels he is ruined. Velvet takes him and tells him they have to escape. Billy tells them he will right the whole Man Fred story and thinks it will the Pulitzer. Bif will do it as a play and it will take Broadway by storm. Billy hugs him, "We'll do both!" The girls get mad. Chris says, "Why you two..!" Pam wonders if Man Fred was all that bad. Homer tells Neji he was just as much a hero as anyone else. Ramon hugs Neji who says, "Where are the little shit...boys? Why didn't they finish the story?" Homer tells him they don't the end of the story...when it reaches the part about a madman kidnapping females, they loose (yes, loose but it should be lose) all interest. Xiao tells Homy as he and Angel are arm in arm, that they ate a two whole gallons of ice creamóóCrunchy Fudge Gobbers. Homer says, "Geeze, Ramon, I'll pay..." Ramone tells him to forget itóóóhe'll need the money for two sick tummies tonight. Homer hugs the boys, telling he and Neji to have a great future on the cruise. Ramon hugs Neji, "And you 3, too. Have a great future full of fun and adventures in Chinatown!"